On February 27, 1974, the Church of Scientology published an ad in the Times, titled “An Open Letter to Messrs. Heath, Thorpe and Wilson”:

Here are the interesting excerpts:

There has been criticism of Scientologists in the past for monopolising L. Ron Hubbard’s discoveries. The criticism is no longer valid.

Thanks for finally confirming the criticism was valid.

It would be a pity if one group with a monopoly on any body of technology monopolised it to the detriment of our Nation.

Yes, this would be a pity.

We conceive it our duty to make the management technology of Scientology, as developed by L. Ron Hubbard, available to the Nation. We are willing to provide courses for civil servants, politicians, unions, management and staff.

Courses on management, production analysis and statistics, personnel training and programming, mediation technology, courses on communication, basic organization, the theory, purpose and structure of organizations, policy, orders and financial management.

Wait… I am confused. Isn’t Scientology a religion? Isn’t quite inappropriate to offer “civil servants, politicians, unions, management and staff” to convert to a particular religious doctrine, Scientology?

The ad makes it clear it’s all about Scientology doctrines here. This is further confirmed when in 1992, the IRS asked the Church of Scientology to provide a complete set of Scientology’s Organizational Executive Course volumes, to which the Church of Scientology answered “the OEC volumes are but a small portion of the philosophy and technology of the Scientology religion.”

Anyway… Let’s read further:

And your exchange to us? There is, you see, a principle of exchange even here. We have little use for money, but as Governments seem to consider it valuable, why then, a percentage of taxation.

Just… wow.

Church of Scientology’s monopoly on Scientology teachings ceased in 1974 – we are told, when the Church of Scientology offered to convert all U.K.’s public institutions to Scientology doctrines, in exchange of a portion of the tax income pie.

Exactly how offering your product for sale equates a term to a monopoly? When you try to figure how is it possible that the Church of Scientology somehow thought it was an offer the U.K. couldn’t refuse, there is only one option left: facepalm.jpg.

Addendum: Just to further highlight the ridicule,  try this:

Microsoft – the fastest growing religion – is pleased to announce an end to its monopoly on Windows and Office. Microsoft will provide training for Windows and Office to all civil servants, politicians, unions, management and staff, and since we don’t care much about money, Microsoft will settle for a mere portion of tax revenue raised by the government. You’re welcome.